The lost art of conversation - Michael Odeon

There is a 'conversation' going on in the UK about race and racism. There's nothing wrong with that, as these are important and interesting subjects. The trouble is that it is going on everywhere and all the time. Even on days when you might think lots of other things are more important and interesting, you are unlikely to be able to avoid it. It is never out of the mainstream or social media; it is in the workplace and at schools and universities. Even our television dramas and awards ceremonies offer no hiding place. 

Except that, this ‘conversation’ is not a true conversation. More often than not, white people like me are expected to be quiet, to ‘stay in our lane’ and listen to ‘people of colour’ so that we can ‘learn and grow’, even if that means feeling guilty for things we have not done. If we are to speak, it is only to accept and agree and to offer our support as an ‘ally’. By contrast, everyone who is ‘of colour’ can talk as much or as little as they like (provided that they say the right things), without criticism or contradiction. I don’t know any other conversations that work like that.

In so many places, it is now treated as an established truth that all people of colour are victims of racism and that all white people are, at best, passive beneficiaries of racism, if not actively racist as individuals. But even if that were completely true, if we are serious about understanding racism and wanting to reduce its harmful effects, why would we want to hear only from its victims?

Years ago I was burgled. I was not at home at the time, but besides a few valuables being taken and the front door being broken, there was no material harm done. Nevertheless, I was anxious and angry about it for months afterwards. If anyone wants to understand the crime of burglary, they should probably listen to someone like me. I could tell them in grim detail how upsetting it is to be a victim of burglary and how the feelings of resentment and violation last a surprisingly long time. But I am not, and never have been, an expert on burglary. In fact, in the months immediately after it happened, my reasoning on the subject became so distorted that I could hardly have been less of an expert. I thought about it constantly, convincing myself each day that it was going to happen again, when, in reality, the chances of that were virtually zero. I even temporarily convinced myself that imprisonment might be too lenient of a punishment for convicted burglars and that castration should at least be considered. 

So if someone were serious about understanding burglary and its causes and effects, they really should not only listen to people like me. They should at least want to hear from burglars too, to learn about their circumstances and motives. Very few people choose that path, so why did they? After all, when we want to understand how to prevent gang crime, we seek out reformed gang members to hear their stories, and we take their advice seriously and make it available to youngsters. 

I’m not suggesting racism is the same as burglary, rather I am saying that people with a sincere desire to fix things first set out to understand them as completely as possible however difficult that might be. If someone consistently demonstrates an unwillingness to do that, we should at least question their motives. 

And what of us white people, all of whom supposedly bear the guilt of and blame for racism, and do so exclusively? Have we nothing to say that is worth hearing? I think we have. In the early 1980s, I witnessed whole sections of the crowd at football matches in England shouting racist abuse at black players. That does not happen now and  it has not for years. In the same decade, mocking racial stereotypes for laughs was commonplace in television comedies that attracted millions of viewers. That has not happened for years either, and there is nothing to suggest that anyone wants it to happen again. The last time I heard a racist joke from a white person directed at a black employee in the workplace was 1988. Since then, I have only heard two racist jokes from white people anywhere at all in the past twenty years, each time met with obvious disapproval from the other white people who had also heard it. 

I am not claiming that racism has gone away completely, and I haven’t heard anyone else make that claim. But I have witnessed a dramatic change for the better among white people in their attitudes to racial minorities. I think it would be difficult to find a white person over the age of 40 in the UK who has not noticed a similar change. That change happened without statues being torn down, without politicians and footballers taking the knee, without preaching celebrities or mandatory diversity training in the workplace. 

If we are really serious about racism, we should want to know why our mainstream politicians and media, along with our workplace diversity ‘experts’, consistently fail to acknowledge this change or consider how it came about. And there is more we should want to know too: whether racial disparities in outcomes really are proof of discrimination; how diminishing individual and group identities under headings like ‘people of colour’ or ‘BAME’ promotes dignity and understanding or how thinking of race solely in terms of power structures and inherited privilege or disadvantage actually helps those who need helping.

I do not believe that the current ‘conversation’ about race and racism will get us anywhere near answering these questions or that it is intended to. That is why I will support the growing number of people seeking to rediscover the art of conversation.